Returns to the subject of perfect love, already begun |
but no one will blame me
who understands the importance
of what has been said.
Let us now return to the love
which it is good [and lawful]
for us to feel.
This I have described
as purely spiritual;
I am not sure if I know
what I am talking about,
but it seems to me
that there is no need
to speak much of it,
since so few, I fear, possess it;
let any one of you
to whom the Lord has given it
praise Him fervently,
for she must be a person
of the greatest perfection.
It is about this that I now wish to write.
Perhaps what I say may be of some profit,
for if you look at a virtue you
desire it and
try to gain it, and
so become attached to it.
God grant that
I may be able
to understand this, and
even more that I may be able
to describe it,
for I am not sure that I know
when love is spiritual and
when there is sensuality mingled with it, or
how to begin speaking about it.
I am like one
who hears a person
speaking in the distance and,
though he can hear
that he is speaking,
cannot distinguish
what he is saying.
It is just like that with me:
sometimes I cannot understand
what I am saying,
yet the Lord is pleased to enable me
to say it well.
If at other times what I say
is [ridiculous and] nonsensical,
it is only natural for me
to go completely astray.
Now it seems to me
that,
when God has brought someone
to a clear knowledge
of the world, and
of its nature, and
of the fact
that another world
(or, let us say, another kingdom) exists, and
that there is a great difference
between the one and the other,
the one being eternal and
the other only a dream; and
of what it is to love the Creator and
what to love the creature
(this must be discovered by experience,
for it is a very different matter
from merely thinking about it and
believing it);
when one understands by sight and experience
what can be
gained by the one practice and
lost by the other, and
what the Creator is and
what the creature,
and many other things
which the Lord teaches to those
who are willing to devote themselves
to being taught by Him in prayer, or
whom His Majesty wishes to teach--
then one loves very differently
from those of us
who have not advanced thus far.
It may be, sisters,
that you think it irrelevant for me
to treat of this, and
you may say that you already know everything
that I have said.
God grant
that this may be so, and
that you may indeed know it in the only way
which has any meaning, and
that it may be graven upon your inmost being, and
that you may never for a moment depart from it,
for, if you know it,
you will see
that I am telling nothing
but the truth
when I say
that he whom the Lord brings thus far
possesses this love.
Those whom God brings to this state
are generous and royal souls, I think,
they are not content with loving
anything so miserable as these bodies,
however beautiful they be and
however numerous the graces they possess.
If the sight of the body gives them pleasure
they praise the Creator,
but as for dwelling upon it
for more than just a moment--no!
When I use that phrase "dwelling upon it",
I refer to having love for such things.
If they had such love,
they would think they
were loving something insubstantial and
were conceiving fondness for a shadow,
they
would feel shame for themselves and
would not have the effrontery
to tell God that they love Him,
without feeling great confusion.
You will answer me
that such persons cannot love or repay the affection
shown to them by others.
Certainly they care little
having this affection.
They may from time to time experience
a natural and momentary pleasure
at being loved;
yet, as soon as they return to their normal condition,
they realize that such pleasure is folly
save when the persons concerned
can benefit their souls,
either
by instruction or
by prayer.
Any other kind of affection wearies them,
for they know it
can bring them no profit and
may well do them harm;
none the less they
are grateful for it and
recompense it
by commending those
who love them
to God.
They take this affection as something
for which those who love them
lay the responsibility upon the Lord,
from Whom, they suppose
the love comes,
since they can see nothing lovable
in themselves, and
(they) think that others love them
because God loves them;
and so they leave His Majesty
to recompense them
(those who love them) for this
and beg Him to do so,
thus freeing themselves and
feeling they have no more responsibility.
When I ponder it carefully,
I sometimes think this desire for affection
is sheer blindness,
except when, as I say,
it relates to persons
who can lead us to do good
so that we may gain blessings in perfection.
It should be noted here that,
when we desire anyone's affection,
we always seek it because of some
interest,
profit or
pleasure of our own.
Those who are perfect, however,
have trodden all these things
beneath their feet-- [and
have despised] the blessings
which may come to them in this world,
and its pleasures and delights--
in such a way
that, even if they wanted to, so to say,
they could not love anything
outside God, or
unless it had to do with God.
What profit, then, can come to them
from being loved themselves?
When this truth is put to them,
they laugh at the distress
which had been assailing them in the past
as to whether their affection
was being returned or no.
Of course, however pure our affection may be,
it is quite natural for us
to wish it to be returned.
But, when we come to evaluate
the return of affection,
we realize that it is insubstantial,
like a thing of straw,
as light as air and easily
carried away by the wind.
For, however dearly we have been loved,
what is there that remains to us?
Such persons, then,
except for the advantage
that the affection may bring to their souls
(because they realize that our nature is such
that we soon tire of life without love),
care nothing whether they are loved or not.
Do you think that such persons will
love none and
delight in none,
save God?
No;
they will love others
much more than they did,
with a more genuine love,
with greater passion and
with a love which brings more profit;
that, in a word, is what love really is.
And such souls are always much fonder
of giving than of receiving,
even in their relations
with the Creator Himself.
This [holy affection], I say,
merits the name of love,
which name has been usurped from it
by those other base affections.
Do you ask, again,
by what they are attracted
if they do not love things they see?
They do love
what they see and
they are greatly attracted
by what they hear;
but the things which they see
are everlasting.
If they love anyone
they immediately
look right beyond the body
(on which, as I say, they cannot dwell),
fix their eyes on the soul and
see what there is to be loved in that.
If there is nothing,
but they see any suggestion or inclination
which shows them that,
if they dig deep,
they will find gold within this mine,
they think nothing
of the labour of digging,
since they have love.
There is nothing
that suggests itself to them
which they will not willingly do
for the good of that soul
since
they desire their love for it
to be lasting, and
they know quite well
that that is impossible
unless the loved one has
certain good qualities and
a great love for God.
I really mean that it is impossible,
however great their obligations and
even if that soul were to
die for love of them and
do them all the kind actions in its power;
even had it
all the natural graces joined in one,
their wills would not have strength enough
to love it
nor would they remain fixed upon it.
They know and have learned and experienced
the worth of all this;
no false dice can deceive them.
They see
that they are not in unison
with that soul and
that their love for it
cannot possibly last;
for, unless that soul
keeps the law of God,
their love will end with life--
they know that unless it loves Him
they will go to different places.
Those into whose souls
the Lord has already
infused true wisdom
do not esteem this love,
which lasts only on earth,
at more than its true worth--
if, indeed, at so much.
Those who like to take pleasure
in worldly things,
delights, honours and riches,
will account it of some worth
if their friend
is rich and
able to afford them pastime
and pleasure and recreation;
but those
who already hate all this
will care little or nothing for such things.
If they have any love for such a person,
then, it will be a passion
that he may love God
so as to be loved by Him;
for, as I say, they know
that no other kind of affection but this
can last, and
that this kind will cost them dear,
for which reason
they do all they possibly can
for their friend's profit;
they would lose a thousand lives
to bring him a small blessing.
Oh, precious love,
forever imitating the Captain of Love,
Jesus, our Good!
~ End of Chapter 6 ~ |
