CHAPTER 8 The Way of Perfection |
Treats of the great benefit of self-detachment, both interior and exterior, from all things created. |
Let us now come to the detachment
which we must practise,
for if this is carried out perfectly
it includes everything else.
I say "it includes everything else"
because,
if we care nothing for any created things,
if we care nothing for any created things,
but embrace the Creator alone,
His Majesty will infuse the virtues into us
in such a way
that, provided we labour to the best of our abilities
day by day,
we shall not have to wage war much longer,
for the Lord will take our defence in hand
against the devils and
against the whole world.
Do you suppose, daughters,
that it is a small benefit to
obtain for ourselves this blessing
of giving ourselves wholly to Him, [30] and
keeping nothing for ourselves?
Since, as I say,
all blessings are in Him,
all blessings are in Him,
let us give Him hearty praise, sisters,
for having brought us together here,
where we are occupied in this alone.
I do not know
why I am saying this,
why I am saying this,
when all of you here are capable of teaching me,
for I confess that, in this important respect,
I am not
as perfect as I should like to be and
as I know I ought to be;
and I must say the same
about all the virtues and
about all that I am dealing with here,
for it is
easier to write of such things
than to practise them.
I may not even be able
to write of them effectively,
to write of them effectively,
for sometimes
ability to do this comes
only from experience
only from experience
-- [that is to say,
if I have any success, it must be because]
I explain the nature of these virtues
by describing the contraries of the qualities
I myself possess.
As far as exterior matters are concerned,
you know how completely cut off
we are from everything.
Oh, my Creator and Lord!
When have I merited so great an honour?
Thou seemest to have searched everywhere
for means of drawing nearer to us.
May it please Thy goodness
that we lose not this
through our own fault.
through our own fault.
Oh, sisters, for the love of God,
try to realize what a great favour
the Lord has bestowed on those of us
whom He has brought here.
Let each of you apply this to herself,
since there are only twelve of us [31]
and His Majesty has been pleased for you
to be one.
to be one.
How many people
--what a multitude of people!--
do I know who
are better than myself and
would gladly take this place of mine,
yet the Lord has granted it to me
who so ill deserve it!
Blessed be Thou, my God, and
let the angels and all created things praise Thee,
for I can
no more repay this favour
than all the others
Thou hast shown me.
Thou hast shown me.
It was a wonderful thing to give me
the vocation to be a nun;
but I have been so wicked, Lord,
that Thou couldst not trust me.
In a place where there were
many good women living together
my wickedness would not perhaps
have been noticed
have been noticed
right down to the end of my life:
I should have concealed it,
as I did for so many years.
So Thou didst bring me here,
where, as there are so few of us
that it would seem impossible
for it to remain unnoticed,
Thou dost remove occasions of sin from me
so that I may walk the more carefully.
There is no excuse for me, then,
O Lord, I confess it, and
so I have need of Thy mercy,
that Thou mayest pardon me.
Remember, my sisters,
that if we are not good
we are
much more to blame
than others.
much more to blame
than others.
What I earnestly beg of you is
that anyone who knows she
will be unable to follow our customs
will say so [before she is professed]:
there are other convents
in which the Lord is also well served and
she should not
remain here and
disturb these few of us
whom His Majesty has brought together
for His service.
In other convents nuns are free
to have the pleasure of seeing their relatives,
whereas here, if relatives are ever admitted,
it is only for their own pleasure.
A nun who
[very much] wishes to see her relatives
in order to please herself, and
does not get tired of them after the second visit,
must, unless they (the relatives)
- are spiritual persons and
- do her soul some good,
consider herself imperfect and
realize that she
is neither detached nor healthy, and
will have no
freedom of spirit or
perfect peace.
She needs a physician--
and I consider that
if
if
this desire does not leave her, and
she is not cured,
she is not intended for this house.
The best remedy, I think,
is that she should not see her relatives again
until she
feels free in spirit and
has obtained this freedom from God
by many prayers.
When she looks upon such visits as crosses,
let her receive them by all means,
for then they will do
the visitors good and
herself no harm.
But if she is fond of the visitors,
if their troubles are a great distress to her and
if she delights in listening to the stories
which they tell her about the world,
she may be sure
that she will
do herself harm and
do them no good.
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Foot Notes: [30] Lit.: de darnos todas a l todo: "giving ourselves wholly to Him wholly." [31] The thirteenth was St. Teresa. |
~ End of Chapter 8 ~ |
