CHAPTER 13 The Way of Perfection - Continues to treat of mortification and - Explains how one must renounce the world's standards of wisdom in order to attain to true wisdom. |
I often tell you, sisters,
and now I want it to be set down in writing,
not to forget
that we in this house,
and for that matter
anyone who would be perfect,
must flee a thousand leagues
from such phrases as:
"I had right on my side";
"They had no right to do this to me";
"The person who treated me like this
was not right".
God deliver us
from such a false idea of right as that!
Do you think
- that it was right for our good Jesus
to have to suffer so many insults, and
- that those who heaped them on Him [40]
were right, and
- that they had any right
to do Him those wrongs?
I do not know
why anyone is in a convent
who is willing to bear
only the crosses
that she has a perfect right to expect:
such a person
should return to the world,
though even there
such rights will not be safeguarded.
Do you think you can ever possibly
have to bear so much
that you ought not
to have to bear any more?
to have to bear any more?
How does right enter into the matter at all?
I really do not know.
Before we begin talking about
not having our rights,
let us wait until we receive
some honour or gratification,
or are treated kindly,
for it is certainly not right
that we should have anything
in this life
in this life
like that.
When, on the other hand,
some offence is done to us
(and we do not feel it an offence to us
that it should be so described),
I do not see
what we can find to complain of.
Either we are the brides
of this great King
or we are not.
If we are,
what wife is there
with a sense of honour
who does not accept her share
in any dishonour done to her spouse,
even though she may do so
against her will?
Each partner, in fact,
shares in the honour and dishonour
of the other.
To desire to share in the kingdom
[of our Spouse Jesus Christ], and
to enjoy it, and
yet not to be willing to have any part
in His dishonours and trials,
is ridiculous.
God keep us from being like that!
Let the sister
who thinks that she is accounted
the least among all
consider herself
the [happiest and] most fortunate,
as indeed she really is,
if she lives her life as she should,
for in that case she will, as a rule,
have no lack of honour
either in this life
or in the next.
Believe me when I say this-
- what an absurdity, though, it is
for me to say, "Believe me"
when the words come
from Him
Who is true Wisdom,
Who is Truth Itself, and
from the Queen of the angels!
Let us, my daughters, in some small degree,
imitate the great humility
of the most sacred Virgin,
whose habit we wear and
whose nuns we are ashamed
to call ourselves.
Let us at least imitate this humility of hers
in some degree-
-I say "in some degree"
because, however much
we may seem to humble ourselves,
we fall far short of being
the daughters
of such a Mother, and
the brides
of such a Spouse.
If, then, the habits I have described
are not sternly checked,
what seems nothing to-day
will perhaps be a venial sin to-morrow,
and that is so infectious a tendency
that, if you leave it alone,
the sin will not be the only one for long;
and that is a very bad thing for communities.
We who live in a community
should consider this very carefully,
so as not to harm those
who labour
to benefit us and
to set us a good example.
If we realize
what great harm is done
by the formation of a bad habit
of over-punctiliousness
about our honour,
we should rather die a thousand deaths
than be the cause of such a thing.
For only the body would die,
whereas the loss of a soul is a great loss
which is apparently without end;
some of us will die,
but others will take our places and
perhaps they may all be harmed
more by the one bad habit
which we started
than they are benefited by many virtues.
For the devil
does not allow a single bad habit
to disappear and
the very weakness of our mortal nature
destroys the virtues in us.
Oh, what a real charity
it would be, and
what a service would be
rendered to God,
if any nun who sees
that she cannot
[endure and]
conform to the customs
of this house
would recognize the fact and
go away
[before being professed,
as I have said elsewhere], and
leave the other sisters in peace!
And no convent
(at least, if it follows my advice)
will take her or
allow her to make her profession
until they have given her
many years' probation
to see if she improves.
I am not referring to shortcomings
affecting penances and fasts,
for, although these are wrong,
they are not things
which do so much harm.
I am thinking of nuns
- who are of such a temperament
that they like to be esteemed
and made much of;
- who see the faults of others
but never recognize their own; and
- who are deficient in other ways like these,
the true source of which is
want of humility.
If God does not help such a person
by bestowing great spirituality upon her,
until after many years
she becomes greatly improved,
may God preserve you
from keeping her in your community.
For you must realize
that she will
neither have peace there herself
nor allow you to have any.
As you do not take dowries,
God is very gracious to you
in this respect.
It grieves me
that religious houses should
often harbour one
who
is a thief and
robs them of their treasure,
either because they are
unwilling to return a dowry
or out of regard for the relatives.
In this house
you have
risked losing worldly honour and
forgone it
(for no such honour is paid
to those who are poor);
do not desire, then,
that others should be honoured
at such a cost to yourselves.
Our honour, sisters, must lie
in the service of God, and,
if anyone thinks to hinder you in this,
she had better
keep her honour and
stay at home.
It was with this in mind
that our Fathers ordered
a year's probation
(which in our Order
we are free to extend
to four years):
personally, I should like it
to be prolonged to ten years.
A humble nun will mind very little
if she is not professed:
for she knows
that
if she is good
she will not be sent away, and
if she is not,
why should she wish
to do harm to one
of Christ's communities? [41]
By not being good,
I do not mean
being fond of vanities,
which, I believe,
with the help of God,
will be a fault far removed
from the nuns in this house.
I am referring to
a want of mortification and
an attachment
to worldly things and
to self-interest
in the matter which I have described.
Let anyone who knows
that she is not greatly mortified
take my advice and
not make her profession
if she does not wish
to suffer a hell on earth,
and God grant
there may not be another hell
awaiting such a nun in the world to come!
There are many reasons
why she should fear there may be and
possibly
neither she
nor her sisters
may realize this as well as I do.
Believe what I say here;
if you will not,
I must leave it to time
to prove the truth of my words.
For the whole manner of life
we are trying to live
is making us,
not only nuns,
but hermits
[like the holy Fathers
our predecessors] and
leading us to detachment
from all things created.
I have observed
that anyone whom the Lord
has specially chosen for this life
is granted that favour.
She may not have it in full perfection,
but that she has it
will be evident
from the great joy and gladness
that such detachment gives her, and
she will never have any more to do
with worldly things,
for her delight will be
in all the practices of the religious life.
I say once more
that anyone
who is inclined
to things of the world
should leave the convent [42]
if she sees
she is not making progress.
If she still wishes to be a nun
she should go to another convent;
if she does not,
she will see what happens to her.
She must not
complain of me
as the foundress of this convent and
say I have not warned her.
This house is another Heaven,
if it be possible
to have Heaven upon earth.
Anyone
whose sole pleasure
lies in pleasing God and
who cares nothing
for her own pleasure
will find our life a very good one;
if she wants anything more,
she will lose everything,
for there is nothing more
that she can have.
A discontented soul
is like a person suffering
from severe nausea,
who rejects all food,
however nice it may be;
things which persons in good health
delight in eating
only cause her the greater loathing.
Such a person will save her soul
better elsewhere than here;
she may even gradually reach
a degree of perfection
which she could not
have attained here
because we expected too much of her
all at once.
For although we allow time
for the attainment
of complete detachment and
mortification
in interior matters,
in externals
this has to be practised immediately,
because of the harm
which may otherwise
befall the rest;
and anyone who
sees this being done, and
spends all her time
in such good company, and
yet, at the end
of six months or a year,
has made no progress,
will, I fear,
make none
over a great many years, and
will even go backward.
I do not say
that such a nun must be
as perfect as the rest,
but she must be sure
that her soul is
gradually growing healthier--
and it will soon become clear
if her disease is mortal.
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Foot Notes: [40] Lit.: "did them to Him." [41] Lit.: "to this college of Christ." [42] i.e., St. Joseph's, Avila. |
End of Chapter 13 The Way of Perfection |
