Chapter 17 The Way of Perfection - How not all souls are fitted for contemplation and - how some take long to attain it. True humility will walk happily along the road by which the Lord leads it.. |
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I seem now to be beginning
my treatment of prayer,
but there still remains
a little for me to say,
which is of great importance
because it has to do with humility, and
in this house that is necessary.
For humility
is the principal virtue
which must be practised
by those who pray,
and, as I have said,
it is very fitting
that you should try to learn
how to practise it often:
that is one of the chief things
to remember about it and
it is very necessary
that it should be known
by all who practise prayer.
How can anyone
who is truly humble
think herself as good
as those who become contemplatives?
God, it is true,
by His goodness and mercy,
can make her so;
but my advice is
that she should always sit
down in the lowest place,
for that is what the Lord
instructed us to do and
taught us by His own example. [52]
Let such a one make herself ready for God
to lead her by this road
if He so wills;
if He does not,
the whole point of true humility is
that she should consider herself happy
in serving the servants
of the Lord and
in praising Him.
For she deserves to be a slave
of the devils in hell;
yet His Majesty has brought her here
to live among His servants.
I do not say this
without good reason,
for, as I have said,
it is very important for us to realize
that God does not lead us all
by the same road, and
perhaps she who believes herself
to be going along the lowest of roads
is the highest in the Lord's eyes.
So it does not follow
that, because all of us in this house
practise prayer,
are all perforce to be contemplatives.
That is impossible;
and those of us who are not
would be greatly discouraged
if we did not grasp the truth
that contemplation
is something given by God,
and, as
it is not necessary for salvation and
God does not ask it of us
before He gives us our reward,
we must not suppose
that anyone else will require it of us.
We shall not fail to attain perfection
if we do what has been said here;
we may, in fact, gain much more merit,
because what we do will cost us
more labour;
the Lord
will be treating us
like those who are strong and
will be laying up for us
all that we cannot enjoy in this life.
Let us not
be discouraged, then, and
give up prayer or
cease doing what the rest do;
for the Lord sometimes
tarries long, and
gives us as great rewards all at once
as He has been giving to others
over many years.
I myself spent over fourteen years
without ever being able to meditate
except while reading.
There must be
many people like this, and
others who
cannot meditate
even after reading,
but can only recite vocal prayers, in which
they chiefly occupy themselves and
take a certain pleasure.
Some find their thoughts
wandering so much
that they cannot concentrate
upon the same thing,
but are always restless,
to such an extent
that, if they try to fix their thoughts
upon God,
they are attacked by a thousand foolish
ideas and scruples and doubts
concerning the Faith.
I know a very old woman,
leading a most excellent life
--I wish mine were like hers--
a penitent and a great servant of God,
who for many years has been
spending hours and hours in vocal prayer,
but from mental prayer can get
no help at all;
the most she can do is
to dwell upon each of her vocal prayers
as she says them.
There are a great many other people
just like this;
if they are humble,
they will not, I think,
be any the worse off in the end,
but very much in the same state
as those who enjoy
numerous consolations.
In one way they may feel safer,
for we cannot tell if consolations
come from God or
are sent by the devil.
If they are not of God,
they are the more dangerous;
for the chief object
of the devil's work on earth
is to fill us with pride.
If they are of God,
there is no reason for fear,
for they bring humility with them,
as I explained in my other book
at great length.
Others [53]
walk in humility, and
always suspect
that if they fail to receive consolations
the fault is theirs, and
are always most anxious
to make progress.
They never see a person shedding a tear
without thinking themselves
very backward in God's service
unless they are doing the same,
whereas they may perhaps be
much more advanced.
For tears, though good,
are not invariably signs of perfection;
there is always greater safety in
humility,
mortification,
detachment and
other virtues.
There is no reason for fear, and
you must not be afraid
that you will fail to attain the perfection
of the greatest contemplatives.
Saint Martha was holy,
but we are not told
that she was a contemplative.
What more do you want
than to be able to grow
to be like that blessed woman,
who was worthy
to receive Christ our Lord
so often in her house, and
to prepare meals for Him, and
to serve Him and perhaps
to eat at table with Him?
If she had been absorbed in devotion
[all the time],
as the Magdalen was,
there would have been no one
to prepare a meal for this Divine Guest.
Now remember
that this little community
is Saint Martha's house and
that there must be people of all kinds here.
Nuns who are called to the active life
must not murmur at others
who are very much absorbed
in contemplation,
for contemplatives know
that, though they themselves
may be silent,
the Lord will speak for them, and
this, as a rule,
makes them forget themselves
and everything else.
Remember
that there must be someone
to cook the meals
and count yourselves happy in being able
to serve like Martha.
Reflect that true humility consists
to a great extent
- in being ready for what
the Lord desires to do with you
and happy that He should do it, and
- in always considering yourselves unworthy
to be called His servants.
If contemplation and
mental and vocal prayer and
tending the sick and
serving in the house and
working at even the lowliest tasks
are of service to the Guest
Who comes
to stay with us and
to eat and take His recreation with us,
what should it matter to us
if we do one of these things
rather than another?
I do not mean
that it is for us to say
what we shall do,
but that we must do our best in everything,
for the choice is not ours
but the Lord's.
If after many years
He is pleased to give each of us her office,
it will be a curious kind of humility
for you to wish to choose;
let the Lord of the house do that,
for He
is wise and powerful and
knows what is fitting
for you and
for Himself as well.
Be sure
that, if you
- do what lies in your power and
- prepare yourself
for high contemplation
with the perfection aforementioned,
then, if He does not grant it you
(and I think He will not fail to do so
if you have true
detachment and humility),
it will be
- because He has laid up this joy for you
so as to give it you in Heaven, and
- because, as I have said elsewhere,
He is pleased to
-- treat you like people
who are strong and
-- give you a cross to bear on earth
like that which
His Majesty Himself always bore.
What better sign of friendship is there
than for Him to give you
what He gave Himself?
It might well be
that you would not have had
so great a reward from contemplation.
His judgments are His own;
we must not meddle in them.
It is indeed a good thing
that the choice is not ours;
for, if it were,
we should think it the more restful life and
all become great contemplatives.
Oh, how much we gain
if we have
no desire to gain
what seems to us best
and so have
no fear of losing,
since God never permits
a truly mortified person to lose anything
except when such loss will bring him
greater gain!
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Foot Notes: [52] St. Luke xiv, 10. [53] Lit.: "These others." |
End of Chapter 17 The way of Perfection |
