CHAPTER 18 The Way of Perfection St. Teresa of Avila - Continues the same subject and - shows how much greater are the trials of contemplatives than those of actives. This chapter offers great consolation to actives. . |
I tell you, then, daughters--
those of you
whom God is not leading
by this road [of contemplation]--
that,
as I know from what I
have seen and been told by those
who are following this road,
they are not bearing a lighter cross than you;
you would be amazed
at all the ways and manners
in which God sends them crosses.
I know about both types of life and
I am well aware
that the trials
given by God to contemplatives
- are intolerable; and
- they are of such a kind
that, were He not to feed them
with consolations,
they could not be borne.
It is clear
that, since God leads those
whom He most loves
by the way of trials,
the more He loves them,
the greater will be their trials;
and there is no reason to suppose
that He hates contemplatives,
since with His own mouth He
praises them and
calls them friends.
To suppose
that He would admit to His close friendship,
pleasure-loving people
who are free from all trials,
is ridiculous.
I feel quite sure
- that God gives them
much greater trials; and
- that He leads them
by a hard and rugged road,
so that they sometimes think they
are lost and
will have to go back and begin again.
Then His Majesty is obliged
to give them sustenance
-- not water,
but wine,
so that they may
become inebriated by it and
not realize
what they are going through and
what they are capable of bearing.
Thus I find few true contemplatives
who are not
courageous and
resolute in suffering;
for, if they are weak,
the first thing the Lord does
is to give them courage
so that they may fear no trials
that may come to them.
I think,
when those who lead an active life
occasionally see
contemplatives receiving consolations,
they suppose
that they never experience anything else.
But I can assure you
that you might not be able
to endure their sufferings
for as long as a day.
The point is
that the Lord
knows everyone
as he really is and
gives each his work to do--
according to what He sees
to be most fitting
for his soul, and
for His own Self, and
for the good of his neighbour.
Unless you have omitted
to prepare yourselves for your work
you need have no fear
that it will be lost.
Note that I say
we must all strive to do this,
for we are here for no other purpose; and
we must not strive merely
for a year, or
for two years or ten years,
or it will look
as if we are abandoning our work
like cowards.
It is well that the Lord should see
we are not leaving anything undone.
We are like soldiers
who, however long they have served,
must always be ready
for their captain to send them away
on any duty
which he wants to entrust to them,
since it is he who is paying them.
And how much better
is the payment given by our King
than by people on this earth!
For the unfortunate soldiers die,and
God knows who pays them after that!
When their captain sees they are
all present, and
anxious for service,
he assigns duties to them
according to their fitness,
though not so well
as our Heavenly Captain.
But if they were not present,
He would give them
neither pay [54]
nor service orders.
So practise mental prayer, sisters;
or, if any of you cannot do that,
(then do)
- vocal prayer,
- reading and
- colloquies with God,
as I shall explain to you later.
Do not neglect the hours of prayer
which are observed by all the nuns;
you never know
when the Spouse will call you
(do not let what happened
to the foolish virgins
happen to you)
and if He will give you fresh trials
under the disguise of consolations.
If He does not,
you may be sure
that you are not fit for them and
that what you are doing is suitable for you.
That is where
both merit and humility come in,
when you really think
that you are not fit for what you are doing.
Go cheerfully about whatever services
you are ordered to do,
as I have said;
if such a servant is truly humble, she
will be blessed in her active life and
will never make any complaint
save of herself.
I would much rather be like her
than like some contemplatives.
Leave others to wage their own conflicts,
which are not light ones.
The standard-bearer
is not a combatant,
yet none the less
he
- is exposed to great danger, and,
- inwardly, must suffer more than anyone,
for he cannot defend himself,
as he is carrying the standard,
which he must not allow to leave his hands,
even if he is cut to pieces.
Just so, contemplatives
-have to bear aloft
the standard of humility and
- must suffer all the blows
which are aimed at them
without striking any themselves.
Their duty is
- to suffer as Christ did,
- to raise the Cross on high,
- not to allow it to leave their hands,
whatever the perils
in which they find themselves, and
- not to let themselves be found
backward in suffering.
It is for this reason
that they are given such an honourable duty.
Let the contemplative consider
what he is doing;
for, if he lets the standard fall,
the battle will be lost.
Great harm, I think, is done
to those who are not so far advanced
if those whom they consider
as captains and friends of God
let them see them acting
in a way unbefitting to their office.
The other soldiers do as best they can;
at times they will withdraw
from some position of extreme danger,
and, as no one observes them,
they suffer no loss of honour.
But these others (standard bearers)
have all eyes fixed on them and
cannot move.
Their office, then, is a noble one, and
the King confers great honour and favour
upon anyone
to whom He gives it, and
who, in receiving it,
accepts no light obligation.
So, sisters, as we
do not understand ourselves and
know not what we ask,
let us leave everything to the Lord,
Who knows us better
than we know ourselves.
True humility consists
in our being satisfied with what is given us.
There are some people
who seem to want to ask favours from God
as a right.
A pretty kind of humility that is!
He Who knows us all
does well in seldom giving things
to such persons,
He sees clearly that they are unable
to drink of His chalice.
If you want to know
whether you have made progress or not, sisters, you may be sure that you have
if each of you
- thinks herself the worst of all and
- shows that she thinks this
by acting for the profit and benefit
of the rest.
Progress has nothing to do
with enjoying the greatest number
of consolations in prayer, or
with raptures, visions or favours
[often] given by the Lord,
the value of which we cannot estimate
until we reach the world to come.
The other things I have been describing
are current coin,
an unfailing source of revenue and
a perpetual inheritance--
not payments liable at any time to cease,
like those favours
which are given us and
then come to an end.
I am referring to the great virtues of
humility,
mortification and an
obedience
so extremely strict
that we never go an inch
beyond the superior's orders,
knowing that these orders come from God
since she is in His place.
It is to this duty of obedience
that you must attach the greatest importance.
It seems to me that anyone
who does not have it
is not a nun at all,
and so I am saying no more about it,
as I am speaking to nuns
whom I believe
to be good, or,
at least, desirous of being so.
So well known
is the matter, and
so important,
that a single word will suffice
to prevent you from forgetting it.
I mean that,
if anyone is
under a vow of obedience and
goes astray
through not taking the greatest care
to observe these vows
with the highest degree of perfection,
I do not know
why she is in the convent.
I can assure her, in any case,
that, for so long as she fails in this respect,
she will never succeed
in leading the contemplative life,
or even
in leading a good active life:
of that I am absolutely certain.
[55] And even a person
who has not this obligation,
but who wishes or tries
to achieve contemplation,
must, if she would walk safely,
be fully resolved to surrender her will
to a confessor
who is himself a contemplative [56]
and will understand her.
It is a well-known fact
that she will make more progress
in this way in a year
than in a great many years
if she acts otherwise.
As this does not affect you, however,
I will say no more about it.
I conclude, my daughters, [by saying]
that these are the virtues
which I desire you
to possess and
to strive to obtain and
of which you should cherish a holy envy.
Do not be troubled
because you have no experience
of those other kinds of devotion:
they are very unreliable.
It may be
that to some people
they come from God, and
yet that if they came to you
it might be
because His Majesty had permitted you
to be deceived and deluded by the devil,
as He has permitted others:
there is danger in this for women.
Why do you want to serve the Lord
in so doubtful a way
when there are so many ways
of [serving Him in] safety?
Who wants to plunge you into these perils?
I have said a great deal about this,
because I am sure it will be useful,
for this nature of ours is weak,
though His Majesty will strengthen those
on whom He wishes
to bestow contemplation.
With regard to the rest,
I am glad to have given them this advice,
which will teach contemplatives,
humility also.
If you say you have no need of it, daughters,
some of you may perhaps
find it pleasant reading.
May the Lord, for His own sake,
give us light to follow His will in all things and we shall have no cause for fear.
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Foot Notes: [54] Lit.: "would give them nothing", but the reference seems to be to payment. [55] Lit.: "very, very certain" -- a typically Teresan repetition. [56] Lit.: "who is such." . |
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| End of Chapter 18 The Way of Perfection . |
