. CHAPTER 34 The Way of Perfection - Continues the same subject. This is very suitable for reading after the reception of the Most Holy Sacrament. . |
. John 6 32 ...my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world." 34 So they said to him, "Sir, give us this bread always." 35 Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst. . |
CHAPTER 34
We have now reached the conclusion
that the good Jesus,
being ours,
asks His Father
to let us have Him daily--
which appears to mean "for ever".
While writing this
I have been wondering
why, after saying "our 'daily' bread",
the Lord repeated the idea in the words
"Give us this day, Lord."
I will tell you my own foolish idea:
if it really is foolish,
well and good--
in any case,
it is quite bad enough
that I should interfere
in such a matter at all.
Still, as we are trying to understand
what we are praying for,
let us think carefully
what this means,
so that we may
pray rightly, and
thank Him
Who is taking such care about teaching us.
This bread, then,
is ours daily,
it seems to me,
because we have Him here on earth,
since He has remained with us here
and
we receive Him;
and,
if we profit by His company,
we shall also have Him in Heaven,
for the only reason He remains with us
is to help and encourage and sustain us
so that we shall do that will,
which, as we have said,
is to be fulfilled in us.
In using the words "this day"
He seems to me
to be thinking of a day
of the length of this life.
And a day indeed it is!
As for the unfortunate souls
who
will bring damnation upon themselves
and
will not have fruition of Him
in the world to come,
they are His own creatures,
and
He did everything to help them on,
and
was with them, to strengthen them,
throughout the "to-day" of this life,
so it is not His fault if they are vanquished.
They will have no excuse to make
nor will they be able to complain
of the Father
for taking this bread from them
at the time when they most needed it.
Therefore the Son prays the Father
that, since this life
lasts no more than a day,
He will allow Him to spend it
in our service. [120]
As His Majesty has already
given His Son to us,
by sending Him,
of His will alone,
into the world,
so now,
of that same will,
He is pleased not to abandon us,
but to remain here with us
for
the greater glory of His friends
and
the discomfiture of His enemies.
He prays for nothing more
than this "to-day"
since He has given us
this most holy Bread.
this most holy Bread.
He has given it to us for ever,
as I have said,
as the sustenance and manna of humanity.
We can have it
whenever we please and
we shall not die of hunger
save through our own fault,
for, in whatever way the soul desires
to partake of food,
it will find joy and comfort
in the Most Holy Sacrament.
There is no need or trial or persecution
that cannot be easily borne
if we begin
- to partake and taste of those
which He Himself bore,
and
- to make them the subject
of our meditations.
With regard to other bread [121] --
the bread of bodily
necessaries and sustenance--
I neither like to think
that the Lord is always
being reminded of it
nor would I have you
remember it yourselves.
Keep on the level
of the highest contemplation,
for anyone who dwells there
no more remembers
that he is in the world
than if he had already left it--
still less does he think about food.
Would the Lord ever have
insisted upon our asking for food,
or
taught us to do so by His own example?
Not in my opinion.
He teaches us
to fix our desires upon heavenly things
and
to pray that we may begin
to enjoy these things while here on earth:
Would He, then, have us trouble
about so petty a matter
as praying for food?
As if He did not know
that, once we begin to worry
about the needs of the body,
we shall forget the needs of the soul!
Besides,
are we such moderately minded people
that we shall be satisfied
with just a little
and
pray only for a little?
No:
The more food we are given,
the less we shall get
of the water from Heaven.
Let those of you, daughters,
who want more
of the necessaries of life
pray for this.
Join with the Lord, then, daughters,
in begging the Father
to let you have your Spouse to-day,
so that, as long as you live,
you may never find yourself
in this world
without Him.
Let it suffice to temper your great joy
that He should remain disguised
beneath these accidents
of bread and wine,
which is a real torture to those
who have
nothing else to love
and
no other consolation.
Entreat Him
not to fail you
but to prepare you to receive Him worthily.
As for that other bread,
have no anxiety about it
if you have truly resigned yourselves
to God's will.
I mean
that at these hours of prayer
you are dealing
with more important matters
and
there is time enough for you
to labour and earn your daily bread.
Try never at any time
to let your thoughts dwell on this;
work with your body,
for it is good for you
to try to support yourselves,
but let your soul be at rest.
Leave anxiety about this to your Spouse,
as has been said at length already,
and
He will always bear it for you.
Do not fear
that He will fail you
if you do not fail
to do what you have promised
and
to resign yourselves to God's will.
I assure you, daughters,
that, if I myself were to fail in this,
because of my wickedness,
as I have often done in the past,
I would not beg Him to give me
that bread, or anything else to eat.
Let Him leave me to die of hunger.
Of what use is life to me
if it leads me daily
nearer to eternal death?
If, then, you are really
surrendering yourselves to God,
as you say,
cease to be anxious for yourselves,
for He
bears your anxiety,
and
will bear it always.
It is as though a servant
had gone into service
and
were anxious to please his master
in everything.
The master is bound
to give him food
for so long as he remains
in his house, and
in his service,
unless he is so poor
that he has food
neither for his servant
nor for himself.
Here, however,
the comparison breaks down,
for God is, and will always be,
rich and powerful.
It would not be right
for the servant to
go to his master every day and
ask him for food
when he knew
that his master would see
that it was given him and
so he would be sure to receive it.
To do this would be a waste of words.
His master would quite properly tell him
that he should look after his own business
of serving and pleasing him,
for, if he worried himself unnecessarily,
he would not do his work
as well as he should.
So, sisters, those who will
may worry about asking for earthly bread;
let our own task be
to beg the Eternal Father
that we may merit our heavenly bread,
so that,
although our bodily eyes
cannot feast themselves
on the sight of Him
since He is thus hidden from us,
He
may reveal Himself
to the eyes of the soul
and
may make Himself known to us
as another kind of food,
full of delight and joy,
which sustains our life.
Do you suppose
that this most holy food
is not
ample sustenance even for the body
and
a potent medicine for bodily ills?
I am sure that it is.
I know a person who was
subject to serious illnesses and
often suffered great pain;
and this pain was taken away from her
in a flash [122]
and she became quite well again.
This often occurs, I believe;
and cures are recorded
from quite definite illnesses
which could not be counterfeited.
As the wondrous effects
produced by this most holy bread
in those who worthily receive it
are very well known,
I will not describe all the things
that could be related about this person
I mentioned,
though I have been enabled
to learn about them
and I know
that they are not fabrications.
The Lord had given this person
such a lively faith
that, when she heard people say
they wished they had lived
when Christ walked on this earth,
she would smile to herself,
for she knew
that we have Him as truly with us
in the Most Holy Sacrament
as people had Him then,
and wonder what more
they could possibly want.
I know, too,
that for many years this person,
though by no means perfect,
always tried to strengthen her faith,
when she communicated,
by thinking that it was exactly
as if she saw the Lord
entering her house,
with her own bodily eyes,
entering her house,
with her own bodily eyes,
for she believed in very truth
that this Lord was entering
her poor abode,
and she ceased,
as far as she could,
to think of outward things,
and went into her abode with Him.
She tried to recollect her senses
so that they might all become aware
of this great blessing,
or rather,
so that they should not hinder the soul
from becoming conscious of it.
She imagined herself at His feet
and
wept with the Magdalen
exactly as if she had seen Him
with her bodily eyes
in the Pharisee's house.
Even if she felt no devotion,
faith told her
that it was good for her to be there.
For, unless we want
to be foolish and
to close our minds to facts,
we cannot suppose
that this is the work of the imagination,
as it is
when we think
of the Lord on the Cross,
or
of other incidents of the Passion,
and picture within ourselves
how these things happened.
This is something
which is happening now;
it is absolutely true;
and we have no need
to go and seek Him somewhere
a long way off.
For we know that,
until the accidents of bread
have been consumed by our natural heat,
the good Jesus is with us
and we should [not lose
so good an opportunity
but should] come to Him.
If, while He went about in the world,
the sick were healed
merely by touching His clothes,
how can we doubt
that He will work miracles
when He is within us,
if we have faith,
or
that He will give us
what we ask of Him
since He is in our house?
His Majesty is not wont to offer us
too little payment for His lodging
if we treat Him well.
If you grieve at not seeing Him
with the eyes of the body,
remember that
that would not be good for us,
for it is
one thing to see Him glorified
and
quite another to see Him
as He was
when He lived in the world.
So weak is our nature
that nobody could endure the sight--
in fact,
there would be no one left to endure it,
for no one would wish to remain
in the world any longer.
Once having seen this Eternal Truth,
people would realize
that all the things we prize here
are mockery and falsehood.
And if such great Majesty
could be seen,
how could a miserable sinner like myself,
after having so greatly offended Him,
remain so near to Him?
Beneath those accidents of bread,
we can approach Him;
for, if the King disguises Himself,
it would seem
that we need not mind coming to Him
without so much
circumspection and ceremony:
By disguising Himself,
He has, as it were,
obliged Himself to submit to this.
Who, otherwise, would dare
to approach Him so unworthily,
with so many imperfections
and
with such lukewarm zeal?
Oh, we know not what we ask!
How much better
does His Wisdom
know what we need!
know what we need!
He reveals Himself to those
who He knows will profit by His presence;
Though unseen by bodily eyes,
He has many ways
of revealing Himself to the soul
through deep inward emotions
and
by various other means.
Delight to remain with Him;
Do not lose such an excellent time
for talking with Him
as the hour after Communion.
Remember that
this is a very profitable hour for the soul;
If you spend it
in the company of the good Jesus,
you are doing Him a great service.
Be very careful, then, daughters,
not to lose it.
If you are compelled by obedience
to do something else,
try to leave your soul with the Lord.
For He is your Master,
and,
Though it be in a way
you may not understand,
He will not fail to teach you.
But if you
take your thoughts elsewhere,
and
pay no more attention to Him
than if you had not received Him,
and
care nothing for His being within you,
how can He make Himself known to you?
You must complain,
not of Him,
but of yourself.
This, then, is a good time
for our Master to teach us
and
for us to listen to Him.
I do not tell you
to say no prayers at all,
for if I did,
you would
take hold of my words
and
say I was talking about contemplation,
which you need practise only
if the Lord brings you to it.
No:
You should say the Paternoster,
• realize
that you are verily and indeed
in the company of Him
Who taught it you
and
• kiss His feet in gratitude to Him
for having desired to teach you
and
• beg Him
to show you how to pray
and
never to leave you.
You may be in the habit of praying
while looking at a picture of Christ,
but at a time like this
it seems foolish to me
- to turn away from the living image
--the Person Himself--
- to look at His picture.
Would it not be foolish
if we had a portrait of someone
whom we dearly loved
and,
when the person himself came to see us,
we refused to talk with him
and carried on our entire conversation
with the portrait?
Do you know
when I find the use of a picture
an excellent thing,
and take great pleasure in it?
When the person is absent
and
we are made to feel his loss
by our great aridity,
it is then
that we find it a great comfort
to look at the picture of Him
Whom we have such reason to love.
This is a great inspiration,
and makes us wish
that, in whichever direction we turn our eyes,
we could see the picture.
What can we look upon
that is better or more attractive
to the sight
than upon Him
Who
so dearly loves us
and
contains within Himself
all good things?
Unhappy are those heretics,
who through their own fault
have lost this comfort,
as well as others.
When you
have received the Lord,
and
are in His very presence,
try
• to shut the bodily eyes
and
• to open the eyes of the soul
and
• to look into your own hearts.
I tell you, and tell you again,
for I should like to repeat it often,
that if you
• practise this habit
of staying with Him,
not just once or twice,
but whenever you communicate,
and
• strive to keep your conscience clear
so that you can often rejoice
in this your Good,
He will not,
as I have said,
come so much disguised
as to be unable
to make His presence known to you
in many ways,
according to the desire
which you have of seeing Him.
So great, indeed, may be
your longing for Him
that He will reveal Himself to you wholly.
But if we
pay no heed to Him
save when we have received Him,
and
go away from Him
in search of other and baser things,
what can He do?
Will He have to drag us by force to
look at Him
and
be with Him
because He desires
to reveal Himself to us?
No;
For when He
revealed Himself to all men plainly,
and
told them clearly who He was,
they did not treat Him at all well
--very few of them, indeed,
even believed Him.
So He grants us
an exceeding great favour
when He is pleased to show us
that it is He
Who is in the Most Holy Sacrament.
But He will not
reveal Himself openly
and
communicate His glories
and
bestow His treasures
save on those whom He knows
greatly desire Him,
for these are His true friends.
I assure you
that anyone who
- is not a true friend
and
- does not come to receive Him as such,
after doing all in his power
to prepare for Him,
must never importune Him
to reveal Himself to him.
Hardly is the hour over
which such a person has spent
in fulfilling the Church's commandment
than he goes home
and tries to drive Christ out of the house.
What with all his other business
and occupations and worldly hindrances,
he seems to be making all possible haste
to prevent the Lord
from taking possession of the house
which is His own.
_____________
. Foot Notes: [120] Lit.: "in service"--en servidumbre, a strong word, better rendered, perhaps, "servitude," and not far removed from "slavery." [121] The whole of this paragraph is lightly crossed out in the manuscript. [122] Lit.: "as if by (someone's) hand." St. Teresa is thought here to be referring to herself. . |
| . End of Chapter 34 The Way of Perfection . |
