. CHAPTER 38 The Way of Perfection - Treats of the great need which we have to beseech the Eternal Father to grant us what we ask in these words: "Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo." [132] "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." - Explains certain temptations. This chapter is noteworthy. . |
There are great things here for us
- to meditate upon, sisters, and
- to learn to understand as we pray.
Remember I consider it quite certain
that those
who attain perfection
do not ask the Lord
to deliver them
from trials, temptations,
persecutions and conflicts
--and
that is another sure and striking sign
that these favours and this contemplation
which His Majesty gives them
are coming from the Spirit of the Lord
and
are not illusions.
For, as I said a little way back,
perfect souls
are in no way
repelled by trials,
but rather
desire them
and
pray for them
and
love them.
They are like soldiers:
the more wars there are,
the better they are pleased,
because they hope
to emerge from them
with the greater riches. [133]
If there are no wars,
they serve for their pay,
but they know
they will not get very far on that.
Believe me, sisters,
the soldiers of Christ -- namely,
those who
- experience contemplation and
- practise prayer--
are always ready for the hour of conflict.
They are never very much afraid
of their open enemies,
for they
- know who they are
and
- are sure that their strength
can never prevail against the strength
which they themselves have been given
by the Lord:
they will always
- be victorious and
- gain great riches,
so they will never turn their backs
on the battle.
Those whom
they fear, and fear rightly,
and
from whom
they always beg the Lord to deliver them,
are enemies who are treacherous, devils
who
transform themselves and
come and visit them
in the disguise of angels of light.
The soul fails to recognize them
until they have done it
a great deal of harm;
they suck our life-blood
and
put an end to our virtues
and
we go on yielding to temptation
without knowing it.
From these enemies
let us pray the Lord often,
in the Paternoster,
to deliver us:
may He not allow us
to run into temptations
which deceive us;
may their poison be detected;
and
may light and truth
not be hidden from us.
How rightly does our good Master
- teach us to
pray for this
and
- pray for it in our name!
Consider, daughters,
in how many ways
these enemies do us harm.
Do not suppose
that the sole danger lies
in their making us believe
that the consolations and the favours
which they can counterfeit to us
come from God.
This, I think, in a way,
is the least harmful thing they can do;
it may even help some
whom this sensible devotion
entices to spend more time in prayer
and
thus to make greater progress.
Being ignorant
that these consolations
come from the devil,
and
knowing themselves
to be unworthy of such favours,
they
- will never cease to give thanks to God
and
- will feel the greater obligation
to serve Him;
Further, they
- will strive to prepare themselves
for more favours
which the Lord may grant them,
since they believe them
to come from His hand.
Always
- strive after humility, sisters, and
- try to realize
that you are not worthy of these graces,
and
- do not seek them.
It is because many souls do this,
I feel sure,
that the devil loses them:
he thinks
that he has caused their ruin,
but out of the evil
which he has been trying to do
the Lord brings good.
For His Majesty regards our intention,
which is to
- please Him and
- serve Him and
- keep near to Him in prayer,
and the Lord is faithful.
We shall do well
- to be cautious, and
not
- to let our humility break down
or
- to become in any way vainglorious.
Entreat the Lord
to deliver you from this, daughters,
and you need then have no fear
that His Majesty will allow you
to be comforted much
by anyone but Himself.
Where the devil can do great harm
without our realizing it
is in making us believe
that we possess virtues which we do not:
that is pestilential.
For, when consolations and favours
come to us,
we feel that we
- are doing nothing but receive, and
- have the greater obligation to serve;
but when we suffer
from this other delusion
(that we possess virtues which we do not)
we think
that we are giving and serving,
and
that the Lord will be obliged to reward us;
and this, little by little,
does us a great deal of harm.
On the one hand,
our humility is weakened,
while, on the other,
we neglect to cultivate that virtue,
believing we have already acquired it.
We think we are walking safely,
when, without realizing it,
we stumble, and fall into a pit
from which we cannot escape.
Though we may not consciously
have committed any mortal sin
which would have sent us
infallibly to hell,
we
- have sprained our ankles
and
- cannot continue on that road
which I began to speak about
and
which I have not forgotten.
You can imagine
how much progress will be made
by anyone who is at the bottom
of a huge pit:
it will be the end of him altogether
and
he will be lucky
if he escapes falling
right down to hell:
at best, he will never
get on with his journey.
This being so,
he will be unable to help
either himself or others.
It will be a bad thing for others, too,
for, once the pit has been dug,
a great many passers-by
may fall into it.
Only if the person
who has fallen in
gets out of it
and
fills it up with earth
will further harm to himself and others
be prevented.
But I warn you
that this temptation is full of peril.
I know a great deal about it
from experience,
so I can describe it to you,
though not as well as I should like.
What can we do about it, sisters?
To me the best thing
seems to be
what our Master teaches us:
• to pray, and
• to beseech the Eternal Father
not to allow us to fall into temptation.
There is something else, too,
which I want to tell you.
If we think
that the Lord has given us a certain grace,
we must understand
that it is
- a blessing
which we have received
- but which He may take away from us
again, as indeed,
in the great providence of God,
often happens.
Have you never observed this
yourselves, sisters?
I certainly have:
sometimes I think
I am extremely detached,
and, in fact,
when it comes to the test,
I am (detached);
yet at other times
I find I have such attachment to things
which the day before
I should perhaps have scoffed at
that I hardly know myself.
At some other time
I seem to have so much courage
that I should not quail
at anything I was asked to do
in order to serve God,
and,
when I am tested,
I find that I really can do these things.
And then on the next day
I discover
that I should not have the courage
to kill an ant for God's sake
if I were to meet with any opposition
about it.
Sometimes it seems
not to matter in the least
if people complain or speak ill of me,
and,
when the test comes,
I still feel like this
--indeed, I even get pleasure from it.
And then there come days
when a single word distresses me
and
when I long to leave the world altogether,
for everything in it
seems to weary me.
And I am not the only person
to be like this,
for I have noticed the same thing
in many people better than myself,
so I know it can happen.
That being so,
who can say
that he possesses any virtue,
or
that he is rich,
if at the time
when he most needs this virtue
he finds himself devoid of it?
No, sisters: let us
- rather think of ourselves
as lacking it
and
- not run into debt
without having the means of repayment.
Our treasure must come
from elsewhere
and we never know
when God will leave us
in this prison of our misery
without giving us any (treasure,consolation)
If others,
thinking we are good,
bestow favours and honours upon us,
both they and we shall look foolish
when, as I say,
it becomes clear
that our virtues are only lent us.
The truth is
that, if we serve the Lord with humility,
He will sooner or later succour us
in our needs.
But, if we are not strong
in this virtue,
the Lord will leave us to ourselves,
as they say, at every step.
This is a great favour on His part,
for it helps us to realize fully
that we have nothing
which has not been given us.
And now you must take note
of this other piece of advice.
The devil makes us believe
that we have some virtue
--patience, let us say--
because we
have determination
and
make continual resolutions to suffer
a great deal for God's sake.
We really and truly believe
that we would suffer all this,
and the devil encourages us
in the belief, and
so we are very pleased.
I advise you to place no reliance
on these virtues:
we ought not
- to think
that we know anything
about them beyond their names,
or
- to imagine
that the Lord has given them to us,
until we come to the test.
For it may be
that at the first annoying word
which people say to you
your patience will fall to the ground.
Whenever you have frequently to suffer,
- praise God for beginning
to teach you this virtue,
and
- force yourself to suffer patiently,
for this is a sign
that He wants you to repay Him
for the virtue
which He is giving you,
and
- you must think of it
only as a deposit,
as has already been said.
The devil has yet another temptation,
which is to make us appear
very poor in spirit:
we are in the habit of saying
that we
want nothing
and
care nothing about anything:
but as soon as the chance comes
of our being given something,
even though we do not in the least
need it,
all our poverty of spirit disappears.
Accustoming ourselves
to saying this
goes far towards
making us think it true.
It is very important always
● to be on the watch and
● to realize
that this is a temptation,
that this is a temptation,
both
in the things I have referred to
and
in many others.
For when the Lord really gives
one of these solid virtues,
it seems to bring all the rest
in its train:
that is a very well-known fact.
But I advise you once more,
even if you think you possess it,
to suspect that you may be mistaken;
for the person
who is truly humble
is always doubtful
about his own virtues;
very often they seem
more genuine and of greater worth
when he sees them
in his neighbours.
The devil makes you think
that you are poor,
and he has some reason for doing so,
because you have made
(with the lips, of course)
a vow of poverty,
as have some other people
who practise prayer.
I say "with the lips"
because, if before
making the vow
we really meant in our hearts
what we were going to say,
the devil could not possibly
lead us into that temptation
--not even in twenty years,
or in our entire lifetime--
for we should see
that we were deceiving
the whole world,
and
ourselves
into the bargain.
Well, we make our vow of poverty,
and then one of us,
believing herself all the time
to be keeping it, says:
"I do not want anything,
but I am having this
because I cannot do without it:
after all,
if I am to serve God,
I must live,
and He wants us
to keep these bodies of ours alive."
So the devil, in his angelic disguise,
suggests to her
that there are a thousand different things
which she needs and
which she needs and
that they are all good for her.
And all the time
he is persuading her to believe
that she
is still being true to her vow
and
possesses the virtue of poverty
and
that what she has done
is no more than her duty.
And now let us take a test case,
for we can only get to the truth of this
by keeping
a continual watch on ourselves:
then, if there is any cause for anxiety
on our part,
we shall at once recognize the symptoms.
Here is someone
who has a larger income
than he needs
--I mean, needs
for the necessaries of life--
and, though he could do
with a single manservant,
he keeps three.
Yet, when he is sued in the courts
in connection with
a part of his property,
or
some poor peasant omits
to pay him his dues,
he gets as upset and excited about it
as if his life were at stake.
He says he must look after his property
or he will lose it, and
considers that that justifies him.
I do not suggest
that he ought to neglect his property:
whether or no things go well with him,
he should look after it.
But a person
whose profession of poverty
is a genuine one
makes so little account of these things
that, although for various reasons
he attends to his own interests,
he never worries about them,
because he never supposes
he will lose everything he has;
and, even if he should do so,
he would consider it
of no great moment,
for the matter is one
of secondary importance to him
and
not his principal concern.
His thoughts rise high above it
and
he has to make an effort
to occupy himself with it at all.
Now monks and nuns are demonstrably poor
--they must be so,
for they possess nothing:
sometimes because there is nothing
for them to possess.
But if a religious
of the type just mentioned
is given anything,
it is most unlikely
that he will think it superfluous.
He always likes to have something laid by;
if he can get a habit of good cloth,
he will not ask for one of coarse material.
He likes to have some trifle,
if only books,
which he can pawn or sell,
for if he falls ill
he will need extra comforts.
Sinner that I am!
Is this the vow of poverty that you took?
● Stop worrying about yourself
and
and
● Leave God to provide for you,
come what may.
If you are going about
trying to provide for your own future,
it would be less trouble for you
to have a fixed income.
This may not involve any sin,
but it is as well
that we should learn
to recognize our imperfections,
so that we can see
how far we are
from possessing the virtue of poverty,
which we must beg and obtain from God.
If we think we already possess it,
we shall grow careless,
and, what is worse,
we shall be deceiving ourselves.
The same thing happens
with regard to humility. [134]
We think
that we have no desire for honour and
that we care nothing about anything;
but as soon as our honour
comes to be slighted in some detail
our feelings and actions at once show
that we are not humble at all.
If an opportunity occurs for us
to gain more honour,
we do not reject it;
even those who are poor,
and to whom I have just referred,
are anxious to have
as much profit as possible
--God grant we may not go so far
as actually to seek it!
We always have phrases on our lips
about
wanting nothing,
and
caring nothing about anything,
and we
honestly think them to be true,
and
get so used to repeating them
that we come to believe them
more and more firmly.
But when, as I say,
we keep on the watch,
we realize
that this is a temptation,
as regards both
the virtue I have spoken of
and all the rest;
for when we really have
one of these solid virtues,
it brings all the rest in its train:
that is a very well-known fact.
______________________
. Foot Notes: [132] "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." [133] Lit.: "gains", as also in the next paragraph. E. has: "because they have hopes of becoming rich." The reference in both manuscripts is, of course, to the spoils and booty of war. [134] It will be noticed that this paragraph is similar to the last paragraph in the text of V. (p. 254, above). The differences, however, are so wide that each of the two is given as it stands. . |
| . End of Chapter 38 The Way of Perfection . |
