The Way of Perfection - Chapter 41 - St. Teresa of Avila - Teresa of Jesus

.              CHAPTER 41            The Way of Perfection  Speaks     - of the Fear of God               and     - of how we must keep ourselves            from venial sins.                           .

   

How I have enlarged on this subject! 

Yet I have not said 

   as much about it 

as I should like; 

for it is a delightful thing 

   to talk about this Love of God. 

What, then, must it be to possess it? 

May the Lord, for His own sake, 

   give it me! 

May I not depart from this life 

   till there is nothing in it 
       that I desire, 

   till I have forgotten 
       what it is  

            to love anything but Thee 

                    and 

   till I deny the name of love 

            to any other kind of affection--

   for all love is false 

      but love of Thee, 

   and, 

   unless the foundations of a building 

         are true, 

   the building itself will not endure. 

I do not know 

  why it surprises us to hear people say:

      "So-and-so has made me 

            a poor return for something." 

      "Someone else does not like me." 

   I laugh to myself when I hear that. 

      What other sort of return 

            do you expect him to make you? 

      And why do you expect anyone 

            to like you? 

These things will show you 

   what the world is; 

    your love, itself, becomes your punishment, 

    and the reason

    why you are so upset about it 

        is that your will strongly resents 

            your involving it 

        in such childish pastimes.

Let us now come to the Fear of God

    --though I am sorry not to be able 

        to say a little about this worldly love,     

    which, for my sins, I 

        - know well

            and

        - should like to acquaint you with, 

     so that you may free yourself

        from it for ever. 

    But I am straying from my subject and

       shall have to pass on.

This Fear of God is another thing 

    with which 

         those who possess it and

         those who have to do with them 

    are very familiar. 

But I should like you to realize 

that at first it is not very deep, 

    save in a few people, 

          to whom, as I have said, 

    the Lord grants such great favours as

          to make them rich in virtues and 

          to raise them, in a very short time, 

    to great heights of prayer. 

It is not recognizable, therefore, 

    at first, in everyone. 

   As it increases, 

          it grows stronger each day,

   and then, of course, 

          it can be recognized, 

for those who possess it 

   forsake 

          - sin, and

          - occasions of sin, and 

          - bad company, 
   and other signs of it are visible in them. 

When at last the soul 

    attains to contemplation, 

of which we are chiefly treating 

    at the moment, 

its Fear of God is plainly revealed,

    and 

its Love is not dissembled even outwardly. 

However narrowly we watch such persons, 

    we shall not find them 

         growing careless; 

for, close as our watch on them may be, 

    the Lord so preserves them 

that they would not knowingly 

    commit one venial sin 

         even to further their own interests, 

    and, as for mortal sin, 

       they fear it like fire. 

These are the illusions, sisters, 

    which I should like you always to fear; 

let us always beseech God 

  - that temptation may not be strong enough 

      for us to offend Him 

  - but that He may send it to us 

      in proportion to the strength

     which He gives us to conquer it. 

If we keep a pure conscience, 

     we can suffer little or no harm. 

That is the important point; and 

that is the Fear 

    which I hope will never be taken from us, 

for it is that Fear

    which will stand us in good stead.

Oh, what a great thing it is 

    not to have offended the Lord, 

so that the servants and slaves of hell [139]

    may be kept under control! 

In the end, whether willingly or no, 

    we shall all serve Him--

         they by compulsion 

                and 

         we with our whole heart. 

So that, if we please Him, 

  they 

         will be kept at bay and 

         will do nothing that can harm us, 

  however much they 

         lead us into temptation 

              and 

         lay secret snares for us.

Keep this in mind, 

   for it is very important advice, 

so do not neglect it 

   - until you find you have 

        such a fixed determination 

            not to offend the Lord

        that you would rather 

            lose a thousand lives and 

            be persecuted by the whole world,

        than commit one mortal sin, 

            and 

   - until you are most careful 

        not to commit venial sins. 

I am referring now 

    to sins committed knowingly: 

       as far as those of the other kind 

           are concerned, 

      who can fail to commit them frequently? 

But it is one thing 

     - to commit a sin

            -- knowingly 

                 and 

            -- after long deliberation, 

and quite another 

    - to do it so suddenly that

            -- the knowledge of 

                    its being a venial sin and 

            -- its commission 

            are one and the same thing, 

                 and 

            we hardly realize what we have done,   

                 although we do to some extent realize it. 

From any sin, however small, 

   committed with full knowledge, 

may God deliver us,

   especially 

      - since we are sinning 

            against so great a Sovereign 

                   and

      - realizing that He is watching us! 

That seems to me to be a sin

    committed of malice aforethought; 

    it is as though one were to say:

      "Lord, although this displeases Thee, 

           I shall do it. 

           I know that Thou seest it and 

           I know that Thou wouldst 

                  not have me do it; 

       but, though I understand this,

           I would rather follow 

                  my own whim and desire 

                  than Thy will." 

If we commit a sin in this way, 

    however slight, 

it seems to me 

    that our offence is not small 

    but very, very great.

For the love of God, sisters, 

    never be careless about this

           --and, glory be to the Lord, 

              you are not so at present. 

If you would gain this Fear of God, 

   • remember the importance 

         of habit and 

         of starting to realize 
             what a serious thing 

                   it is to offend Him. 

   • Do your utmost 

         to learn this and 

         to turn it over in your minds; 

 for our life, 

     and much more than our life, 

depends upon this virtue 
      (Fear of  God) 

      being firmly planted in our souls. 

Until you are conscious within your soul 

    of possessing it, 

you need always 

    • to exercise very great care and 

    • to avoid 

          - all occasions of sin and 

          - any kind of company 

       which will not help you 

          to get nearer to God. 

    • Be most careful, in all that you do, 

    • to bend your will to it; 

    • See that all you say tends to edification; 

    • Flee from all places 

        where there is conversation 

       which is not pleasing to God. 

Much care is needed

   if this Fear of God is to be

 thoroughly impressed upon the soul; 

though, if one has true Love, 

   it is quickly acquired. 

Even when the soul has 

   that firm inward (purpose)

           which I have described, 

       not to offend God 

           for the sake of any creature, 

                 or 

           from fear of a thousand deaths, 

   it may subsequently fall from time to time,

        for we 

         are weak and 

           cannot trust ourselves, 

        and, 

           the more determined we are, 

           the less self-confidence 

               we should have, 

           for confidence must come from God. 

But, when we find ourselves in this state, 

    we need not feel constrained or depressed, 
for the Lord will help us 

     and 

the habits we have formed 

    will be of assistance to us 

so that we shall not offend Him; 

we shall be able to walk in holy freedom, 

and associate with anyone, 

     as seems right to us,

even with dissolute people. 

     These will do you no harm,

         if you hate sin.

Before we had this true fear of God 

    worldly people 

         would have been poisonous to us 

                  and 

         would have helped to ruin our souls; 

but now they will often help us 

    to love God more and  

    to praise Him 

 for having delivered us 

    from what we see 

    to be a notorious danger. 

And whereas 

    we, for our part,

        may previously have helped 

               to foster their weaknesses, 

    we shall now 

        be helping to repress them, 

    because they will restrain themselves 

        in our presence, 

    and this is a compliment 

        which they will pay us 

    without our desiring it.

I often praise the Lord 

  (though I also wonder 

      why it should be so) 

  that merely by his presence, 

      and without saying a word, 

  a servant of God 

      should frequently prevent people 

  from speaking against Him.

 It may be  

      as it is in worldly intercourse: 

  a person is always spoken 

      of with respect, even in his absence, 

  before those who are known 

      to be his friends,

  lest they should be offended. 

  Since this servant of God

      is in a state of grace, 

  this grace must cause him 

      to be respected, 

  however lowly his station, 

  for people will not distress him 

      in a matter about which 

  they know him  to feel so strongly 

      as giving offence to God. 

  I really do not know 

      the reason for this 

  but I do know 

      that it very commonly happens. 

Do not be too strict with yourselves, then, 

for, if your spirit begins to quail,

    it will do great harm 

         to what is good in you 

    and may sometimes 
         lead to scrupulosity, 

    which is a hindrance to progress 

         both in yourselves and in others. 

Even if things are not as bad as this,

    a person, 

         however good in herself, 

         will not lead many souls to God

    if they see 

         that she is so strict and timorous. 

Human nature is such 

   that these characteristics will 

         - frighten and 

         - oppress it and 

         - lead people to avoid 

             the road you are taking, 

   even if they are quite clear

         it is the best one.

Another source of harm is this: 

   we may judge others unfavourably,

though they may be holier than ourselves,

   because they do not walk as we do, 

   but, in order to profit their neighbours, 

       talk freely and without restraint. 

   You think such people are imperfect; 

   and if they are good 

   and yet at the same time 

        of a lively disposition,

   you think them dissolute. 

  This is especially true of those of us 

  who 

        are unlearned and

        are not sure 

            what we can speak about 

            without committing sin. 

It is a very dangerous state of mind, 

    leading 

        to great uneasiness and 

        to continual temptation, 

   because it is unfair to our neighbour. 

It is very wrong to think 

   that everyone who does not follow 

       in your own timorous footsteps 

   has something the matter with her. 

Another danger is that,

when it is 

    - your duty to speak, 

         and 

    - right that you should speak, 

         you

            -- may not dare to do so 

                 lest you say too much 

                      and 

            -- may perhaps speak well of things 

                 that you ought to hate.

Try, then, sisters, 

    - to be as pleasant as you can, 

        without offending God, 

                         and 

    - to get on as well as you can 

        with those you have to deal with,

   so that they may 

         -- like talking to you and 

         -- want to follow your way 

                of life and conversation, 

   and not 
         be frightened and 
         put off by virtue.

This is very important for nuns: 

the holier they are, 

the more sociable they should be 

    with their sisters. 

Although you may be very sorry 

   if all your sisters' conversation is not 

just as you would like it to be,

   never keep aloof from them 

      if you wish 

           to help them and

           to have their love. 

We must try hard 

    to be pleasant, and 

    to humour the people we deal with and   

   (to) make them like us, 

           especially our sisters.

So try, my daughters, to

    • bear in mind 

         that God does not pay great attention 

       to all the trifling matters 

         which occupy you, 

            and 

   • do not allow these things to make 

         your spirit quail and 

         your courage fade, 

     for if you do that 

         you may lose many blessings. 

As I have said,

Let 

   • your intention be upright and 

   • your will determined 
       not to offend God.

   • But do not let your soul dwell in seclusion,

         or, instead of acquiring holiness, 

      you will develop many imperfections,  

         which the devil will implant in you

              in other ways, 

              in which case, as I have said, 

      you will not do the good 

              that you might,

                   either to yourselves 

                   or to others.

You see that, with these two things

       -- Love and Fear of God -- 

   we can travel along this road

            in peace and quietness, 

                     and

   not think at every step 

            that we can see some pitfall, 

                     and 

            that we shall never reach our goal.  

                                                              [140] 

Yet we cannot be sure of reaching it, 

    so fear will always lead the way, 

and then we shall not grow careless, 

For, as long as we live, 

    we must never feel completely safe 

or we shall be in great danger. 

And that was our Teacher's meaning 

    when at the end of this prayer 

He said these words to His Father, 

   knowing how necessary they were: 

    "But deliver us from evil. Amen."

    ______________________

             

.               Foot Notes:   [139]  Lit.: "the infernal slaves."  [140]  Or "for [if we do this]               we shall never reach our goal."                            .

             

.        End of Chapter 41    The Way of Perfection                   .